Tuesday, February 10

When do you start saying NO to your kids ?

The other day while going shopping at IKEA Gabz spotted a pony toy. She picked it up and asked if she could play with it. I then told her that she could play with it but we are not going to buy it, and she said yes. All through out our shopping she was happy playing with the toy. When we reached the counter to pay for all the stuff I wanted to purchased, she told me that she wanted to get the little pony. I told her NO, because we previously agreed that she could play with it, but we are not going to buy it. Then out of the blue she cried so hard and was very upset. I tried to be patient and talk to her very gently about our previous agreement. I could see that she was listening, but having trouble giving up the toy.

Suddenly, a woman approached us (who is on front of us in the counter line) and asked if Gabz is crying because she is tired. I told her that she is upset because of the toy. While talking to Gabz, these people in front of us keep on looking as if they wanted to buy the toy themselves just to appeased her.

She was really so upset, that even her Dad was already asking is how much is that damn toy. I told him I don't know because I don't have any plans in buying at all. I wanted to let Gabz know and understand that not all the things she wanted, she could have it. She has to learn that when we say NO, it has to be NO, and whatever she has agreed she has to stick to it.

I know she is just a kid and I love her so much. I want to give her everything that makes her happy, but all things has its own limitations for her own good someday.

I know this is a very common scenario to all parents out there. Sometimes it is quite difficult to stick to your own rules, but kids are very smart. Once they know that they could get what they want by being upset or giving tantrums, they would always do it every time they want something.

Teaching kids proper behaviour or discipline is tough. Sometimes you do not know when you should give in or be firm with them. Because at the end of the day, you does not want your kids to be defiant nor lenient. Every parents dreams is to have their kids grow up and be a good person with proper values and good behaviour.


Yi Ling said...

haha. those are common sights i must say. especially in those huge shopping malls. you see children brawling in every other shop wanting to buy something. oh wells. some parents lose their patience and slap the child :O others just ignore. some just buy it out of desperation. some scream and scold and beat the child O.O imagine that poor child sitting there -____-

eva said...

hi melanie visiting your blog. i hope you have a great time with your daugther.


Jade said...

I think I would do the same. They would appreciate their toys if they don't have so much to choose from.

I remember when I was living in Holland - kids get so much toys they don't even have the time to paly with them all. It's a waste.

Marj and Carlos said...

You did the right thing. May I be as strong when the time comes :)

Jason said...

That's a really intersting post, I don't have kids and being gay, it's highly unlikely that I'd have any, so things like this have never crossed my mind, until now. Thank you for sharing,

But as a non parent, being a kid once upon a time, I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job! Well done.